Fitness & Nutrition

Food, Success & Life for The Modern Woman

Jennifer Knecht

Kick off your heels and grab your water as your Food, Success and Life for the Modern Woman host Jennifer Knecht connects with experts around the globe. Together you’ll explore real health, real fat burning results and sexy confidence. www.fslmodern.com

Episodes

Four Steps to Instantly End Overwhelm in Your Life with Jennifer Knecht, #72
25:55
2017-10-07 13:02:18 UTC 25:55
Four Steps to Instantly End Overwhelm in Your Life with Jennifer Knecht, #72

Jennifer Knecht talks how to stop, breathe and break through the overwhelm.

Ever spend time worrying about the unknown. Spend time looping over a ruminating thought over and over again….even when they’re not reality. We then make them a reality by thinking about them and putting our focus into them.

We all operate on deadlines.

When the feeling of overwhelm starts to set in and keeps us up at night, we have to stop it in that moment. Like snapping our fingers.

 

Meditation

Meditating is not so easy for everyone to sit there and eliminate all thoughts and focus on your breathe. Jennifer is more of a moving meditator…going for walks or runs.

Listen in on our meditation podcast here with Michelle Chalfant on How to Start and Build Your Meditation Practice. She even made several customized meditations just for our listeners. Here’s one on Setting Goals and Achieving Success.

 

Daydream

There’s research about the need to create intentional day dreaming space. The ways in which you create this is you focus on the really big, hairy a** goal. That vision that you want to achieve, and let your mind wander away and be intentional with that vision.

 

Movement

Doing some yoga to help clear the mind. Going on walks or runs. Get your body moving.

 

Take things in bit sized pieces.

Rather than worrying about all the things that need to get done at one time, chunk them out. Jennifer likes to calendar them out in “campaigns”.

Spend some time every month and look at the big projects we have every month and write them down. EVERYTHING. Work, home, life, health, career, etc.

And prioritize them. Determine if these things really need to get done in the next 30 to 90 days. Prioritize them, calendar them out and then….LET THEM GO. Yup, you read that right. Let them go until it’s time to think about them.

List out on your calendar when you’re going to focus on each. This may sound simple, but when you apply it…it’s a life changer.

Reignite The Fire in Your Relationship…or Light a New One, #71
56:03
2017-10-07 13:02:18 UTC 56:03
Reignite The Fire in Your Relationship…or Light a New One, #71

Today’s episode of Food, Success & Life for the Modern Woman, is one every lady out there will want to tune in to. Our guest Orion Talmay teaches us to attract our partner or reignite our passion with our current partner, by learning to first love ourselves. We talk forgiveness of our past, acceptance of our body and our stories, and ultimately to be in a place of self love and self acceptance, to open ourselves up to attract not only passion and love, but success and all things positive. It’s a great one ladies!!

According, to CDC, in 2014 there were just over 2 million marriages, and nearly 1 million divorces.

Statisticsbrain.com states that 44% of the American adult population is single today.

Orion’s role is to focus on helping women to live an empowered life and discover the love that they want.

We start with how you reignite that passion

How can we REIGNITE our relationship? 

After so many years, we forget that excitement we used to feel in the beginning. As humans, it’s natural to look for danger, and we tend to look for what’s wrong, what’s missing and how we can protect ourselves. We have to consciously work at not thinking and behaving in that manner. Here are Orion’s top tips to reignite:

  1. With your partner, every single day, say 3 things to each other that you really liked about your partner. For example: I really appreciated that you washed the dishes. Or, I really liked how you praised me when you were talking to that person. It’s a great way to go to sleep if you do it right before going to bed.
  2. Another tool is imago dialogue. You can print out the structure here. It helps you communicate and feel that you are really appreciated when you’re in a fight, disagreement or in a place of frustration.
  3. DATE NIGHT!!! Every week or every other week, prepare a date surprise for your partner. This can be a date time event. A hike, a café, a massage…doesn’t have to be expensive. It’s a matter of spending time together.
  4. Sex labs- When people are together for a long time and when they lead a busy life, there is no time for sexploration. Set some time in your calendar to explore each other sexually. It’s a dedicated time to explore different sexual activities. It can be silly, and stupid and funny, but many times it’s very hot. Leave your judgement at the door and have no expectations. Be open minded.
  Tips for Great Communication in Relationships?

A great tip in communication is to not dehumanize your partner. Words like bitch, or dog. It may seem harmless, but our subconscious mind does not understand humor. Not even for ourselves, we should not say “I’m so stupid”…because our mind believes it.

 

How to Attract the Perfect Person

We attract from our point of attraction.

If in our mind we think, all the good men are gay or taken, or all men are dogs, or I’m not good enough, I am intimidating to men…this will be in our energetic field and will not be in alignment with the person we’re looking for.

Our “person” can be in the same room and we won’t be able to see them.

First and foremost we have to love ourselves, including our shadow parts, and be a goddess to emit high vibrations.

 

 

How to Get Past Relationship Pain?

A healing alchemy- mending the broken pieces. When a women is healed she is ready for the real deal, to be in a great relationship. If a woman does not heal herself and finds a great man, she will sabotage that relationship.

Taking ownership of our body, as it is now. Having self-love on a physical level and fall in love with it.

Orion teaches women how to tell stories, because that’s what our subconscious understands. So she does guided processes and hypnotic processes to embrace their shadow parts and teach them to take care of themselves and love all those shameful parts of themselves. To accept themselves just the way they are and the open themselves up to accepting the good that is available.

Forgive yourself by talking to your younger self and meditating. Tell yourself and your younger self that you love her and you are there for her.

Once you forgive, you are in a place of acceptance.

When you accept yourself, you not only attract the right person in our life, we attract success and money and other positive things.

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

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Alpha Women and Love

Becoming an attractor rather than a hunter. Integrate your feminine side into your life. You do this by connecting to your body. If you’re a strong alpha woman, it is not about losing your “masculine” (driven, focused, determined) traits in your life. Integrate the Goddess part of you by hanging out in women’s circles, taking a pole dance class, or a dance class.

 

Join Orion’s private FB page Awaken Your Inner Goddess: 7 Day Challenge for a challenge that she will begin next month in October.

 

Orion’s 3 Habits to Ensure Her Journey
  1. Gratitude
  2. Self Love
  3. Meditation
  15 Day Fat Loss Kick Start Ebook

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About Orion Talmay:

Orion Talmay is a role model of feminine empowerment and the creator of Orion’s Method, teaching women how they can have it all, on their own terms. But it wasn’t always this way for Orion, recovering from an abusive relationship and a crippling bout of depression was the catalyst for her journey of turning pain into potency, and it was through this experience that she learned the foundational importance of cultivating self-love as the basis for all relationships, both personal and professional.

Links and Resources

Uncovering the Hidden Toxins in Your Wine with Todd White of Dry Farm Wines, #70
46:00
2017-10-07 13:02:18 UTC 46:00
Uncovering the Hidden Toxins in Your Wine with Todd White of Dry Farm Wines, #70

Todd White started biohacking a few years back to eat better and become healthier. He quickly discovered that he could no longer enjoy his wine without feeling sick and getting drunk easily, or have it affect his body negatively (living just outside Napa Valley mind you!!!)

He realized that the same mass manufacturing that is happening to food….is happening to WINE!!!! And it’s a very well-kept secret that wine is not being grown in vineyards in chateaus in France…but being mass manufactured with all kinds of dark, dirty secrets. Check out this article Are Wines Toxic? to learn more about it.

There are very few natural wine makers in the world. If we’re going to be life-long wine drinkers, we have to be careful about how much we drink and what we drink. Most of us don’t sit down and have ONE glass of wine, or one margarita….we have several.

So Dry Farm Wines begins with a lower alcohol product, so we are able to have more servings. They don’t have wines over 12.5%. Standards on the shelf contain over 14% alcohol and contain sugars and other additives. There are 76 additives approved by the FDA to be used in wines across the United States. They spend tens of millions of dollars to keep labels off of wines and keep this all a secret.

Dry Farm Wines procures wines from small vineyards in Europe. No wines in the US meet Dry Farm Wines criteria.

Dry Farm Wines are pure artisanal, and deliciously clean:

  • Sugar free
  • Low sulfites
  • Low alcohol
  • Mycotoxin/Mold-Free
  • No additives
  • Dry-Farmed
  • Organic and biodynamic
  • Old Vines
  • Hand harvested
  • Wild Native Yeast
  • Small productions
  • Gluten-free
  • Paleo-friendly
  • Keto-friendly
  • Low carb-friendly
  • Mouthwateringly delicious

If you’re paleo or keto or following a diet protocol, commercial wines will not meet your requirements.

No more hangovers and no more headaches with Dry Farm Wines!!!

Dry Farm Wines has very generously offered all our listeners a bottle of wine for a penny!!

  Todd’s 3 Habits to Ensure His Health:
  1. Meditation
  2. Ketogenic diet
  3. Intermittent Fasting
  15 Day Fat Loss Kick Start Ebook

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About Todd White:

Today, after 15 years in the wine business his life is dedicated to educating and helping people make better choices about food, nutrition, and how they think about consuming alcohol. He is the founder of Dry Farm Wines; a writer, speaker, and a leading authority on healthy organic/natural wines and the importance of micro-dosing alcohol for health, longevity, and vitality. Todd’s passion is unlocking the best way to enjoy alcohol, how to enjoy the benefits of moderate consumption while avoiding the negative outcomes. Todd has been the featured guest on many of the Nation’s leading health influencer podcasts including Dave Asprey’s Bulletproof Radio, Mark Sisson’s Primal Blueprint, Abel James’s Fat Burning Man, Robb Wolf’s Paleo Solution, Drew Manning’s FIT2FAT2FIT and Jimmy Moore Livn Low Carb show.

Links and Resources

No More Compromising- How to Love and Be Loved and Still Get What You Want with Katie Hendricks #69
42:06
2017-10-07 13:02:19 UTC 42:06
No More Compromising- How to Love and Be Loved and Still Get What You Want with Katie Hendricks #69

As woman we find it very difficult to say no to any request that comes our way. We have been taught to be helfpful, and kind and be yes women. And so we have been trained to want to please everyone and put everyone else ahead of our own needs. Even when we don’t have the time or the desire to do so. Sometimes we even feel our body resisting, but we don’t listen! All this people pleasing…leads us to a live a life we may not have wanted. In today’s episode of Food, Success & Life for the Modern Woman, Katie Hendricks talks to us about learning to tell the difference between the yes and the nos….by taking our cues from our body. Living and loving consciously. Creating the life we truly want to live.

It’s amazing that her teachings are in tune with our guest from last week Aimee Eoff, about listening to our body…our intuition. If you didn’t catch that episode, make sure to listen to it next.

  What is Conscious Living and Conscious Loving?

Conscious Living is being able to fully participate in life by choice, so that we are fully understanding what we really like and don’t like, what we want and don’t want. It allows us to make decisions from the inside out as opposed to from the outside in.

The way that most humans are raised is from the outside in, with structures, laws, rules and shaming, to police our behavior. When we live consciously we don’t need all that because we are living in alignment, the way life is flowing. So that if we agree to do something we do it. And we know how to express our feelings and experiences and thoughts.

The basic benefit is that we get to be awake and alive. We get to participate fully in our life while we are in it.

  How do we Start Living Consciously?

So how do we live our life responsively rather than reactively? Where we’re creating our life rather than leaving to the effects of circumstances.

Katie’s team has developed the 4 Pillars of Integrity which have to do with healthy responsibility, impeccable agreements, emotional transparency and communication skills. These have recently been created in a deck of cards to look at what skills we have already integrated and which we still need to practice. This would be a great place to start. They can be found on Katie’s website. Type in impeccable, the integrity deck.

Also found in her new book: Conscious Loving Ever After: How to Create Thriving Relationships at Midlife and Beyond

Your experience of living consciously happens choice by choice. When you feel that you’re really stuck, make just one good choice at a time will give you the confidence to keep learning and growing. It’s never too late in life to make new choices and to start building a life that works for you rather than one that was given to you.

How to Understand a No or a Yes When You Ask Yourself a Question?

As a beginning exploration, remember a recent tine when you were asked to do something or made a choice and you can feel a contraction in your body, that’s usually a no. When you really don’t want to do something you will feel it on your neck or teeth.

The experience of yes in our body experience it as an uprising, expansion feeling through your chest. It feels like champagne bubbles. It has more of a “hah” quality.

Women don’t really hear those signals because we have received so much external information. We have to start trusting our own inner signals. It creates a flow of harmony.

New FB page The BQ Hub is a page created with classes and tips for how to open up your body intelligence even more. There’s an assessment and lots of information so people can learn to be at home in their bodies.

“Use your Body Intelligence to feel the Yes and No” – Katie Hendricks

How Do You Reconcile the Opposition With Your Spouse?

When your spouse or partner wants to do something but you really don’t want to, how do you reconcile that feeling in your body? Compromise is a relationship killer. When people have to think of a relationships as settling for less, it’s not going to appetizing to anybody. People keep tuning into “what do I really want?”

If one person wants to eat one thing, and their partner wants something different, what emerges is a solution not a compromise. It’s more of a synergy.

Start practicing with your choice of clothes, or restaurants before you start listening to your body on big decisions like whether you want to marry someone, or whether you want to buy a house.

 

Tips to Start Engaging With Spouse Toward Conscious Loving

Communication is a game of toss.

Think of yourself as a toddler in the realm of communication, like tossing a ball back and forth will allow you to be at ease with yourself rather than critical.

Say to him “Tell me more” and you’re tossing the communication back on his court.

Then you can use “Ooh, then what happened?”

And you can also use “What interests you most about that?”

Also use body sensations. Katie explains how to do this and how it will evolve over time with practice. It’s quite powerful and effective. You will learn that your conversations will be about discover as opposed to about blame.

 

Why Goosebumps are an Important Body Signal?

Goosebumps is a rush through the skin and the whole body. It lets you know that you’re in the presence of BIG TRUTH, of something of big value, and maybe a signal that you’re on to something important.

If you find yourself with goosebumps, give attention to it. Notice what is happening and what your body is trying to tell you. What you give attention to, develops further.

If we want to start on a journey:

For personal development, and opening up to your GENIUS: The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks.

If you are interested in the relationship world:

Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Commitment is a classic in the field.

Conscious Loving Ever After: How to Create Thriving Relationships at Midlife and Beyond which is specifically geared for people 40 and above.

On Hendricks.com in the relationship page at the bottom, you can click through for videos to show you how to integrate them into your relationships and those are FREE.

 

  15 Day Fat Loss Kick Start Ebook

Download your FREE copy here!!

DOWNLOAD!   Check your email. You will receive access for instant downloading.

We respect your privacy- We will not rent, spam or sell your email.

About Katie Hendricks:

Kathlyn Hendricks, Ph.D., BC-DMT*, is an evolutionary catalyst and freelance mentor who has been a pioneer in the field of body intelligence and conscious loving for over forty years. Katie has an international reputation as a presenter and seminar leader, bodifying the core skills of conscious living–authenticity, response-ability and appreciation–with conscious enthusiasts from many fields. She is the co-author of twelve books, including the best-selling Conscious Loving, At The Speed of Life and Conscious Loving Ever After: How to Create Thriving Relationship at Midlife and Beyond. Katie has been a successful entrepreneur for over forty years. She specializes in turning concepts such as commitment into felt experience and igniting new actions that emerge from the inside out. Her unique coaching and leadership programs have generated hundreds of body intelligence and relationship coaches in the U.S. and Europe. She co-founded the Spiritual Cinema Circle and the virtual Body Intelligence Summit. Katie has appeared on over 500 radio and television programs and traveled well over one million air miles as the ambassador for the work that she and her husband Gay Hendricks have developed.• Kathlyn earned a Ph.D. in Transpersonal Psychology and has been a Board Certified-Dance/Movement Therapist of the American Dance Therapy Association since 1975.

Links and Resources

Discover your REAL Superwoman Powers with Aimee Eoff #68
50:01
2017-10-07 13:02:19 UTC 50:01
Discover your REAL Superwoman Powers with Aimee Eoff #68

Aimee Eoff of Soul Happy teaches us how to sit in our emotions and get in touch with our intuition, to trust ourselves and our bodies. She provides quick tips for women with a lot of noise on their minds. Ever find yourself saying “I knew it”? That was your intuition calling! Listen in to learn how to find your own answers within yourself.

Aimee has always been intuitive since childhood. But she really didn’t know it. In her 20s she started to realize she was really different and felt there was something wrong with her. She could feel what other people felt, she could hear what other people were feeling. With the advice from a therapist, she took a 4 week meditation class and it completely changed her life. She recognized that her intuition was a gift and helped her to identify what her energy is, as opposed to what other people’s energy is in a room.

She is passionate about teaching people to connect with their intuition and their intellect.

What is Intuition?

We all hold energy. Every word we use has an energy attached to it. We all visualize the word differently, based on experiences we each have had.

Aimee created a fun little quiz that is available on her website. It allows you to see what way your intuition speaks to you most dominantly. These are intuitive essences. Check it out…we did! There are 4 that Aimee works with :

  1. Feeling from the 2nd chakra- Creative Sensual– when you feel the energy in a room.
  2. Clear audience, at the throat/5th Chakra- all about communication and sound. The Vibrational Muse. Where your intuition speaks to you, where you hear your own answers, or you hear other people’s thoughts.
  3. Clairvoyance, right behind your eyes, where your 6th chakra is- you can see the energy, but you don’t become it and you don’t become the emotion of it. She calls it the Sovereign Visionary. You can see a picture when someone is telling you something.
  4. The top of your head, your 7th Chakra- she calls it Wise Soul. You just know off the top of your head. Without reasoning you just know things to be true.

We all have these 4 essences. There are more, but these are the ones Aimee works with.

Even just thinking about the way in which we are connected to our essences, and listening to this podcast, will help us get more in touch with the essences.

What do you need to do to get better in touch with our intuition?

It’s an act of being mindful and aware and curious. When we start getting curious, it brings it out to the surface.

When we feel tense or any emotion, stop and ask yourself why are you feeling that tension or emotion? Your body will start answering.

Get curious with your senses.

Follow the whispers you hear, and the butterflies you feel in your happy.

Intuition is not always happy, because it’s about getting real. It’s work to peel the layers and we start to face whether what we believe in is our own belief. We start to discover what is real to us and what it is not real. It will lead to a happy place, but the journey may not be a comfortable journey.

How many times have you said “I knew it”?

These are the times when we know a feeling that came within us was real. We can learn to read this more and act upon it to make real decisions.

When we meditate we are making a statement to yourself into the world, we start to connect inward and learning to determine if what we are feeling is real or if it’s fear or noise. It’s a practice. The more we do it, the more we can get better at it.

One quick exercise to recognize if it’s intuition or noise.

Ask yourself “does this feel expansive or contractive”? Does it feel like your emotion is making you feel expansive and excited? Or, does it make your body contractive and tense?

Tips for women with a lot of noise on their mind
  • Stop and feel your feet on the ground. Recognize that right here right now, your feet are connected to the earth. That will help you get connected to the moment. Creates a dialogue between body and spirit and brings you back in.
  • Breathing. Taking 3 to 10 deep breaths. Feel your breath first and see if it’s in its natural rhythm.
  • Imagine what color your emotion is. You may see it, feel it or hear it. The moment we give it a color, we start to disconnect from the emotion and create separation from it. Our energy systems are like sponges and we absorb a lot of other energy, and we will take on other people’s stresses. The body gets overwhelmed, and when that happens, that is all we can here. The body is like a child, and us as the parent, need to guide it.
How to learn to trust your intuition

We learn the hard way many times; we ignore it and pay the consequences later. This is when we say “I knew it” and “I should’ve listened to myself”. The more we listen to it and act on it, the louder it gets. This is a relationship we have within ourselves.

How do you really understand what your heart desires are?

Feel your body emotions. How does your body react when you see something, or hear something. Does it make you feel expansive or contractive?

Try a fun exercise: Make a vision board on Pinterest with images of what you want in the next five years or whatever an occasion is. Those images that make you feel happy…that’s what you should be doing.

Aimee’s 3 Habits to Ensure Her Own Journey
  1. Meditation
  2. Healthy eating
  3. Physical movement
  

CELEBRATING MEN, SATISFYING WOMEN! Rediscover MEN with compassion, understanding and the ability to get what you need from them with less effort and more satisfaction for both of you. Gain a deep appreciation for the natural synergy possible between the sexes. Rock your world –transform your relationship to men forever.

15 Day Fat Loss Kick Start Ebook

Download your FREE copy here!!

DOWNLOAD!   Check your email. You will receive access for instant downloading.

We respect your privacy- We will not rent, spam or sell your email.

About Aimee Eoff:

Intuitive, Teacher, Writer & Speaker A farmer of compassion, truth and light, planting soul seeds in the world while teaching how to life an intuitive life. I teach (mostly) woman how to develop their intuition, trust themselves and their bodies so they can create a life they love based on their truth without seeking external validation.

Teacher for Brave Girl University Founder of Soul Happy (www.soulhappy.life) Contributing Writer Huffington Post Speaker Brave Girl Symposium (July 2017) Has worked with many companies and thousand of individuals around the world.

Links and Resources

Weightlifting for Women with World Renowned Evidence Based Training and Nutrition Expert Menno Henselmans
57:42
2017-10-07 13:02:19 UTC 57:42
Weightlifting for Women with World Renowned Evidence Based Training and Nutrition Expert Menno Henselmans

This week on Food, Sex & Life for the Modern Woman…Living Primal Podcast, we are interviewing Menno Henselmans. We are talking all things weightlifting and nutrition for women. He’s super geeky (in a great way ;-)) and uses only evidence based data to backup his training and nutrition protocols for weightlifting, healthy eating plans, losing weight and burning belly fat.

 

Differences Between Men and Women in Weightlifting and Nutrition

Much of the discussion revolves around the differences and advantages women have on weightlifting over men, and some of the things we as ladies should know to fully take advantage of these evidence based data to fully reap the benefits, sculpt our bodies and achieve our full healthy living potential.

Differences aren’t huge between men and women in lifting weights. The fundamental principles still apply. But there are a a couple key metabolic and physiological ones to take into account:

  • Women have higher estrogen levels- making women a lot more resistant to muscle damage and are able to recover faster after training. Women can generally take stronger and more frequent weight training than men.
  • Women respond better with higher rep sets and can usually do 2 sessions per body part per week.
  • Cadence for optimal performance for women is lower than men. Women don’t really need to count their reps, but focus on intuition with a bit of explosive movement.

 

Weight vs. Cardio

Menno’s proposed protocol for ladies for weight training vs. cardio will depend highly on each individual women. Their existing level of training and how much time they’re willing to put into it will play a role. So there is no one size fits all protocol he follows.

He goes into some detail between steady state cardio vs. HIIT, and explains how most women’s bodies prefer steady state cardio (if any cardio is included at all) over HIIT because women have a more difficult time recovering from explosive movements.

 

 

His recommended steady state cardio exercises are either cycling, rowing or swimming because they are low impact. Although swimming in cold water increases appetite and when you’re trying to loose weight and burn fat that may not be ideal.

Runners tend to have high levels of cortisol which interferes with muscle building, so running and jogging is not recommended. You’ll notice that cyclers have a much different physique composition than runners. Many runners start their running career with weight loss in mind. But if you’re looking to look and feel great in a bikini and improve your physique, weight lifting will have the best effect on the body.

Cardio is highly overrated and used mainly for calorie expenditure. It is not necessary, unless you enjoy it. And if it’s the runners high you enjoy, weight lifting will also provide some of that feeling in addition to having a higher calorie expenditure than cardio.

 

Nutrition and Carb Tolerance

Menno goes over the nutrition protocol, and general macro nutrient breakdown he recommends for women. He also discusses how he tests for carb tolerance ( (the extent to which the body benefits from carbs) when he first begins working with women on a training and nutrition protocol.

General nutrition protocol for women on a 2,000 calorie diet:

  • 1.8 g/kg (0.82 g/lb) of protein per day
  • 40% of calories from fat
  • the balance of the calories if there are any left, should be from carbs.

Women react very well to high fat diets and their ability to build muscle mass. Ketogenic is a plus if your body can take it.

Working Out While Traveling- Tips for Success
  1. Planning. Failing to plan is planning to fail.
  2. Smart food choices can also mean not eating. You don’t have to eat if all there is available in that moment is junk. You can wait until a smarter food choice is available. Occasional fasting for up to 24 hours is fine.
  3. Us the hotel gym, or if there is no gym available, bodyweight exercises are very easy to do in a hotel room. Take resistance bands with you in your suitcase, do pushups and leg exercises.
  Menno’s 3 Habits to Ensure His Health Journey
  1. Destress before going to bed.
  2. Plan to go to bed at the same time every day.
  3. Force yourself to schedule your strength training. Everything else that needs to happen, will happen around that.

 

Menno’s Bio:

Menno Henselmans is a physique coach, fitness model and scientific author. A former business consultant specialized in advanced statistical data analysis, he traded his company car to do what he’s truly passionate about: help serious trainees attain their ideal physique. His background in science and statistics led to his Bayesian Bodybuilding method. You can follow him on Facebook or Twitter and check out his website for many free articles.

 

Links and Resources

Why Men Do The Things They Do, with Alison Armstrong, #53
48:49
2017-10-07 13:02:19 UTC 48:49
Why Men Do The Things They Do, with Alison Armstrong, #53

Ever sit around with your girlfriends and talk about all those things that drive you nuts about your man??? This episode is absolutely hilarious as Alison puts all those pesky behaviors into perspective and teaches us exactly how to understand and what to do to have a happy relationship with men. It is shock full of great information and tips we can put into action immediately and improve our relationship with the men in our lives and receive what we need and expect from them. This is Part 2 of a 2-part series to Understanding Men and Understanding Women, so make sure to listen in on Part 1 first, Become the Confident, Happy Woman You’re Meant to Be.

 

Men 101- What do we need to know to successfully be in relationship with men?

Most men are hunting most of the time. They are focused, committed, goal oriented, experience support and appreciation as it relates on what they’re focused on. Timing is everything because of their focus. If you want to connect with a man ask him what he’s focused on; what is important to him now.

Some of the ways we can get to know our sons is asking what they’re focused on. Women crave intimacy and they don’t know that men crave intimacy as well. And intimacy has everything to do with being seen.

 

Ask the question: how can I support you? It means EVERYTHING to them.

 

For men, there is a limitation to energy, time, resources, connections, respect, everything. Whereas women don’t think we have limits especially in energy. So everything is about a return on investment to men. This is confusing to women because we try to get men to do the things women want them to do. It’s frustrating because women don’t realize men aree calculating ROI. Men will calculate what is the value of the result…not what needs to get done, but the value of what needs to get done.

If they do something for you, what else will they not do? What time, energy and other resources will be used up?

 

“What difference will it make?” is what men ask themselves to decide if something is worth doing.

 

How do we come together with men?

Alison is getting us the latest and greatest on this! She just filmed the latest on her Queen’s Code workshop and this is some of the info in it!

Both men and women think their view of the world is correct…forever. Men actually need to do nothing to build testosterone and keep the energy to go out and conquer the world. So do nothing, sit on the couch, sleep and have nothing to do. It’s a cycle of building and spending testosterone. If we don’t honor it, our man will feel weak to us, and women will sense this weakness and we will feel burdened and feared. We will question if we need this man in our life, and it will happen if we don’t let him build and spend his testosterone as it is mean to be. Can you see the vicious cycle?

 

What we need to do is honor our differences instead of expecting the other to be like us! When we see him sitting on the couch, we need to find that sexy. We as women putter around the house, put things away and do everything we want to do, and we give ourselves a deadline. And we become a better me when we’re done.

 

We keep trying to get men to do things to be like they should be. We keep trying to get them to invest in zero ROI. Not going to happen! To women who think we have unlimited energy and time, if it gets us to zero ROI, it’s OK for us women.

 

Men don’t believe on acting on feelings. They are an insufficient motivators for them. Men spend their whole lives training themselves to not act on feelings, but facts. Facts are observable, feelings are not. Facts are information from trusted sources. Becoming a trusted source is the game in interacting with men in all contexts!!

 

How does this happen?

This is the SECRET ladies!!

 

The short version is how you become a trusted source is when the words and the feelings match. And this is what they are incredibly sensitive to. If you say thank you and they don’t feel the appreciation, that is insincere to them and it will not register.

To become your man’s trusted source, to get to the source of their sensitivity:

  1. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
  2. Consistency.

 

When we change our mind, we erode their trust. It’s best to say we can’t answer their question at the moment, or we have not decided, than to blurt something out just to change our mind later.

 

Listen in on our amazing interview with Alison. We can’t express enough how helpful this interview will be to improving your relationship with men. We can write up all about it, but listening to her speak it is priceless.

If you are interested in fully understanding yourself and/or understanding men, we HIGHLY recommend Alison’s programs. Jennifer has taken her course a couple of years ago and it transformed her life. These are her workshops:

Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women ®

CELEBRATING MEN, SATISFYING WOMEN! Rediscover MEN with compassion, understanding and the ability to get what you need from them with less effort and more satisfaction for both of you. Gain a deep appreciation for the natural synergy possible between the sexes. Rock your world –transform your relationship to men forever.

Understanding Women: Unlock the Mystery ™

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN: UNLOCK THE MYSTERY! Learn why women do what they do – how they think, act, speak and listen – and how to work with it instead of being frustrated by it! Gain an extraordinary understanding of how women are designed.

 

15 Day Fat Loss Kick Start Ebook

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About Alison Armstrong:

Alison Armstrong, author, educator, and creator of the widely acclaimed “Queen’s Code” workshop series, asks the question: “What if no one is misbehaving — including you?”  She explores the good reasons behind the behavior of men and women such as fundamental differences in the ways we think, act and communicate. She offers simple, partnership-based, solutions to improve our communication and intimacy by honoring ourselves and others. She’s known for her insight, sense of humor and ability to articulate the human experience and predicament of gender.

Links and Resources
  • Visit www.understandmen.com to learn more about Alison, her workshops and products.
  • Recommended books:
    • The Queen’s Code: This is the book version of our foundation workshop and the long-awaited sequel to Keys to the Kingdom. A romantic novel, The Queen’s Code reveals the secret to communicating with men, and a code of honor that will change your relationship to yourself and men forever.
    • Making Sense of Men: Step into Alison’s world, where love, care and attention from men are normal and relied upon — and a way of life available for every woman. This book can be your guide, an unexpected friend, even a prophecy for your future. Funny, information-packed text, illustrative charts and enlightening side-bars will deliver priceless insights into men, their motivations and their inspirations.
  • Recommended Digital Resource:
  • If you missed it, listen in on our last podcast episode: Become the Confident, Happy Woman You’re Meant to Be!